Hi all - this is kind of personal.  Is anyone else having problems w/ their husbands/wifes/etc. dealing w/ their mm?

cheers!
mac

Mac1,
It was very hard for me when I was going throught it all. My husband stuck by my side.  It takes a lot of time and strength on the other person to make the one with MM not feel outted by God and socitey. I went months through the "God why me what did I do to deserve this" stage. Pacence and family and being there for eachother got me throught all of that. Things will work out it just takes alot of love and time. We were two weeks into our marrige when I had my stroke. Then we spent the next six months trying to find out why. Have faith and love and strength of family and thing will work out.
If you want to talk more to me or my husband Jeff e-mail me (beckychelberg@yahoo.com).
With my heart,
Becky  

My son is the one with MM, however my ex-husband had a lot of trouble dealing with Tyler's MM, he was afraid of Tyler suddenly. He started treating Tyler like a baby and doing everything for him. I had to make sure I told him everything Tyler was doing for himself or he would just do it for him.

I would think it would be somewhat the same with a spouse, especially if you were the "strong" one in the relationship. Seeing what Tyler went thru was really hard, I couldn't imagine what it would be like to see a spouse go thru it. Just try to keep the lines of communication open and be understanding of the fears that are most likely there.

I hope you get some help from the married group on here. I will be praying for you.

Hi Mac

I can't say that I ever had problems dealing with my MM and have never asked"why me?" as I am well aware that all the silent strokes I had and then eventually the stroke that put me in hospital could have, quite frankly, killed me without me ever knowing I had MM. But the stroke that actually put me in hospital also did not give me a lot of time to think about things as, over the following couple of weeks i had every conceivable test run and then my STA-MCA surgery was scheduled straight after this (within 2 weeks of my being admitted to hospital).
During this time, my husband was nothing short of WONDERFUL, I leant on him heavily and would never have come through without his sheer strength and love, along with all my friends and extended family who were all so strong for me.
I know that Tony was not coping too well when he wasn't with me as I am sure he was thinking that he would be raising our 5 year old son on his own. I know it certainly crossed my mind!! But if he was ever scared I never saw it, as he was outwardly strong for me. I actually chose to have my second STA-MCA done 6 months later, as Tony wanted me to get it done so that there wouldn't be problems rising in the immediate future, and unbeknown to me, I flatlined when I came out of the anaesthetic, so I woke up in ICU at 2am with someone sitting there holding my hand - I looked around and there he was. I am sure he was scared that I was going to die on him so he didn't want to leave me, but he also didn't tell me what had happened (That was actually a really funny story, as all the ICU doctors all came round and asked me how I felt and they didn't tell me either and all the nurses didn't let on, and then my neurosurgeon came in to check on me and he said "hey Moira how the hell are you feeling?' to which I said 'fine, why?' and he said "well you should have a sore chest because you flatlined and we had to jump start you!')

Life is a learning curve and how you deal with these lessons is what shapes you over time. Love will bring you through and make you stronger, and this website is here if you need to vent, You have to believe and have faith in yourselves and the love you have for each other.

I wish you best wishes to get through this trying time
Moira

Hi Mac

I too, have MM, I never said or think "why me" but I sure very depress, the thought of going to die and leave my husband w/ 3 kids (17,10,2year old) make me cry most every night, I know my husband is very scare also.  He is wonderful husband who is support, take care of me so good and event 1 time he about to kill a jerk doctor on call in hospital who is don't believe that I was sick, my both side family is wonderful, they take good care of me, my mom is my cook and my mother-in-law is my driver.  I just have surgery on Apr 7, everything went well but I still don't see any relax in my husband yet, I know he still scare.  Beside that, this MM family is wonderful, very supportive I couldn't say thank enough.

I wish you the best and take care

Kieu

:DHello I just read your post and wanted to give you some encouragement ::)There is LIFE after moyamoya, I know the lady that was one of the first people DXed with Moyamoya and was Dr. Scott's FIRST SURGERY's He done almost 20 yrs. ago and she is doing fine has a Son and she is a NURSE.... :o Ther Is ALOT of SUCESS story's from MM People.................I myself am not one of the "Lucky" ones as My Dr. let me keep having Strokes for a year before they done my 1st surgery and that was just a couple days After Having two Strokes in two days,,,,,,,,,,,,So I am Disabiled Now,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,BUT MOST ARE DOING FINE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Elaine PS ::::::::::::::::::::ARE YOU GONNA BRING YOUR KIDS to "OUR FAMILY REUNION"  You Can GET FREE Disney Hopper Passes for 3 days,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,HOPE to MEET U THEN ;;D 8)

oh my gosh - i never expected this kind of response!!! thank you all to much for the support!! i never meant to seem like my husband was not being supptive(sp?) - and my family and my best friend have been wonderful--nathan is having problems now. i had my first surgery in march for last year and he never,ever let me know how scared he was--it's just now he felt like he can tell me.  this really dose not help me - and he thinks that i am fixed???

thanks again for all the support!!!
cheers,
trish

Hi Trish,

I don't think anyone could go through what we have been through without being scared to some degree - especially being the partner who is powerless to fix the situation.
Nevertheless, once you have been through that together, it bonds you in a way that nothing else can, and strengthens you for future. I always try to look at the positive in every situation, and with my surgeries, I have thrown myself into living life to the fullest, as it has shown me what a fantastic family I have, and I don't look at the possibility of whether I am fixed or not (I believe I am!) I will only deal with that if or when that happens - I refuse to live my life thinking "what if.."

Back to your original comments - well Nathan has gone through a totally different situation to you as he has had to deal with the possibility of losing you and for anyone that would be hard, and men don't like to voice their feelings, so I take my hat off to them as when it comes to the crunch they are there. I am glad everything is going fine for you - keep thinking positive!!
Moira