Hi, tracy here. I had my surgery  2 months ago and am feeling like I'm losing my mind. I'm taking a calcium blocker to help my low blood pressure and aspirin to prevent the tia's. I could cry in a blink of an eye over nothing and my emotional stability is going down hill. I can't sleep at night thinking that when I wake up I won't be able to talk. Depressed, paranoid and confused... anyone else out there? if so, how do you deal?? and how do you deal without taking praxil or any other medications? i really don't wanna take anymore pills.   

Hi Tracy -

Listen to what Jill said - she said it so well!  I have to reiterate - be patient with yourself.  You have been through a trying time!  You were diagnosed with MM and went through brain surgery.  This is BIG stuff!!  You will find that as you spend more time on this board you will get the feeling that people know, understand, and empathize what you are experiencing.  Hang in there!   [smiley=hug.gif]

-Shari

HANG IN THERE!!  I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time.  My son is 10 years old and he's a MoyaMoya survivor.  He had his surgery in October of 2003.  He was very depressed after his surgery too -- we all were.  I got him a puppy to cheer him up -- it worked.  I'm still struggling with it -- but it's better than it was. Gotta go...

Hi Tracy,

I never had brain surgery as you and the others have, so forgive me for trying to even comment like I'd know, but I wanted to mention that in talking with the many I have, who have MM and had brain surgery, I found that the post-op depression is more the rule than the exception, but at different levels, and there are several factors creating it, so I certainly could understand why you feel as you do. The whole ordeal of moyamoya the disease alone forces you to face your mortality, along with the terrible fears associated with it, and that would shake up anyone emotionally, I think. Many face headaches, TIA’s, even strokes, etc, so no wonder a person feels as you do. Also, many face extreme financial problems. Wow, I could just go on & on with the many factors that can cause emotional instability. But, do you realize how amazing you are? When I think about just the few factors I’ve just mentioned, and YOU, (and many others) went through it, and much more. I’m in awe and I can’t find the words to express the emotion and the respect in seeing that strength. I’m personally very proud of you and all who have gone through what you have, it’s amazing. God bless ya! 

IMO, Keep mentioning it to your doctor. Appropriate treatment can help, along with time. I'm so glad you brought this up too. As it is now, the medical community doesn’t know enough MM, let alone the depression that may follow, and the few specialist who do know about MM, or any doctor for that matter, may not find emotional stability a priority, because they’re more focused on the physical problems, neurological assessment, prognosis, etc and not the emotional impairment. We want all avenues of this disease discovered and dealt with, but they can’t do it without your help. You may be able to help future MM’ers as well. We all want you and anyone facing this disease, to lead a happy, normal life, and discussing it and getting the info out there is so important. Thanks!

Hang in there girlfriend... we’re all with you in this battle. You’re in my thoughts and prayers.

Mar

thank you so much for all the great advice! i'm still not feeling as well as I would want to feel but knowing that i'm not alone really helps me a lot. I decided to go to counseling in order to deal with my issues and overwhelming stress. I'm hoping this will help me during my recovering. thanks again!!