That's it Emily,Hyperventilation can cause the blood vessels to constrict.In fact Kahtleens Primary care explained it to us and he said that someone with a closed head injury they may mimmick hyperventilation to constrict the blood vessels and make room for the swelling, so it won't cut off the vessels completely.It's taken us a LONG time to relax just a little when Kathleen cries.It still worries us  bit when she gets crying for a long time,sometimes she'll start to hold her head while she's crying and she can't seem to stop or hear me trying to talk to her.That's reallly scary.
Mary Grace

Emily,
When I suffered my post-op stroke (on left & right) as a set back, I was trying to communicate.  I was afraid of what was happening and would hyperventilate.  Because of the stroke on the right side it affected my emotions.  Which would cause to become real sad - immediately start crying (hyperventilating).  I've since improved and pretty much returned to my normal self.  Just in time for the second surgery.
take care,
lee

Emily,

Your description of how you feel after crying is really interesting to me, since my daughter cannot speak, so we are always guessing about what is going on with her.   We've had many nights when Daphne cries from 3-6 (or more)hours straight.  At first the crying is not too bad, seems like maybe gas pains, or something.  Then it seems like later she gets completely inconsolable (rubs her eyes, drools, half her face turns red, very sensitive to sound/light).   We've noticed that sometimes if we're able to do something to stop the crying early on, Daphne will have a much better night.  Other times, she gets herself so "worked up"  that she just screams and screams all night. Her hyperventilating while crying is always a sign of her getting "worked up" and we know we're in for a long night 

Now I'm wondering if something benign (like gas or indigestion) could start Daphne's crying, but maybe once it gets started it could cause a headache??

Makes sense.  We've heard everything from reflux to seizures to explain her extreme colic... but how you describe your feelings after crying make more sense to me. 

I'm sorry for your crying and headaches.  I have had lots of crying/emotional episodes since Daphne's had her surgery, too.   I think it must be the stress.  I know how crappy I feel after crying (and just before, and during....) adding a horrible headache to the whole process must be so frustrating! 

Jenny

Emily, I can't thank you enough for sharing all your feeling and experiences with us.it is hard when your child can't tell you exactly how thye feel.I rely so much on all of you who can speak aobut it to help me to figure it all out.As Jenny said I feel that the crying is triggered by something benign,something as simple as she doesn't want to get dressd or bruch her teeth and then it escelates. That's when she holds her her head and doesn't really respond to me until she stops crying.It always scares me but she seems OK after she stops.She never really complains about anything "hurting" if I ask her she always says "I'm fine".(even if I know something hurt).I pray for the day she can tell me what she feels.Thanks again Emily for sharing with us!!! Jenny  it's so tough when they can't speak and tell us what's happening and how they feel.You've probably tried everything but some things that helped to sooth any of our kids was a warm bath(sometimes I would get right in the tub with them (doesn't hurt to relax a little too LOL) or light massage and soft music. Hang in there, she'll be talking your ear off before you know it.
Mary Grace