Hi Gillian,
I will be thinking of Polly on Thursday and praying for her & your family. My daughter's experience was very similar to what Mary Grace posted. I was able to stay with Ruby in pre-op until the Versed kicked in so no separation anxiety issues for her. We also received hourly udpates from the OR nurse liason once surgery was underway - those were a great "lifeline" for me, so to speak. I think MG's advice about staying ahead of the pain post-surgery is also spot on. We tried to pull Ruby off the morphine too quickly, IMO, after the 2nd surgery, so if I had it to do over again, would have made different choices for her regarding the pain meds. She was also very nauseous after both surgeries - Zofran didn't alleviate the nausea for her either so we changed sheets/gowns often, especially the first nights after her surgeries.
My daughter is 6.5 y/o and had her 2 indirect bypass surgeries in October. She had prior strokes/TIA that her doctors had missed, but none that left her with noticeable deficits. However, she was in constant pain from terrible headaches, so I approached preparing her for the surgeries from the perspective of "the surgeries will hopefully help you stop having headaches". That was really the key for her accepting what needed to happen.
My daughter didn't have much swelling post-surgery either time - more on the left side than the right - and very little bruising/discoloration. I had prepared myself for rather large bald patches, but her surgeon shaved very little hair both times, so I was really pleased that we weren't dealing with the lack of hair/self-esteem issues I thought we might be as she returned to school.
Ruby bounced back very quickly after the first surgery (went home Day 3 post-surgery) but took a few extra days after the 2nd surgery to seem more like her old self (home on Day 6, I think-seemed a lot longer though). After the first surgery, she was talking to me the same day, eating fairly normally and up to use the bathroom the next day. After the 2nd surgery, she didn't really speak coherently until Day 3 post-surgery, nor did she get out of bed or eat normally until then either. I think this was just the way her body responded to having two major surgeries in the span of 10 days.
I was also able to stay with my daughter the entire time as she recovered in hospital. We took lots of crafts, crayons, etc. to the hospital, which kept her occupied after the first surgery, not so much after the 2nd b/c she really didn't feel up to doing much until the day we went home. We did watch lots of videos from the hospital's video "library". Child life services also checked in from time to time and they were very good about trying to get her interested in playing/doing things other than watching TV - she just wasn't interested. She really missed her sister, who was not allowed to visit after the 2nd surgery due to the visitor restrictions in place due to H1N1.
Every child's experience is different, but I hope it helps to hear some details of how things went for another child going thru similar circumstances. I think you will be amazed at how well Polly will come thru this. I know that's how I felt watching my kiddo recover - simply amazing!

Best regards,
Jennifer