Hi Chelsie,

I have been wondering how you are doing. I know you have had a lot on your plate. I'm sorry to hear about your bout with numbness and now possibly surgery on the other side. You have been down this road before and you have done very well. I don't believe your recent bout is a complete surprise to you. I do however, believe it stops you in your tracks as you relive the past and your mind races.

I know how much anxiety comes with news like this. The Xanax will take care of that. No Kidding! You are probably ocsillating through all types of emotions right now and that is very understandable. My advice to you is take a deep breath.... relax.....come to reason... and remember that Dr. Steinberg and Teresa gave their blessing for you to take your trip to Costa Rica. I can't imagine that either one of them would tell you to go if they didn't think it was okay. You can choose to trust that it is okay or you will simply not go. If between now and the end of the month you experience something different, or you experience constant numbness, well, that's a different thing and that would need to be taken into consideration. Also, if it will make you feel better or put your mind at ease, you might want to research hospitals and neurosurgeons near where you will be in Costa Rica and have a plan in place should the need arise.

Perhaps getting away at the end of the month would be a good thing. Laying all jokes aside, it sounds to me like you could really use a vacation. When it comes down to it, only you can make the decision to go or stay. I'm a firm believer, as a cancer survivor, that life is short and precious and we are never promised tomorrow. I have been told by my cancer doctor that it is not a question of if my cancer will return it is a question of when. I feel it is very much like MM but I refuse to let it rule me. Heck, anyone of us could be in a car accident or simply be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I have said it before and I will say it again, "You can get busy living or you can get busy dying". It is your choice. My intent is not to "lecture" you but to help you talk and think this through. I know I can't think straight if I get overwhelmed. I have to take a step back and tell myself to relax and just think it through one step at a time.

Chelsie, You know we are all here for you and want only what is best for you. If you want to talk you can PM me or give me a call.  I'll gladly tell you how much I think you should go to Costa Rica.

Keep your chin up and let me know how things are going for you.

Hugs,

Lore

Alison went to Costa Rica last  year after her 2 surgeries were completed. Her last surgery was completed in Jan 05 and she spent most of June 05 in Costa Rica. She did have trouble at Monteverde due to the high altitudes and they made her headaches worse but the other parts of the trip were a delight and we sent a medical letter with her to keep on her at all times and her travel partners were well aware of her medical condition. It is a wonderful country and I hope you are able to go!
Best,
Bridget