Hi Shari,

It is no secret that smoking doubles a persons chances for a stroke and strokes are the third leading cause of death in the US.

Smoking is very addictive and extremely difficult to stop. My friends who are former smokers said it took them 3 or more attempts before they completely stopped smoking. One of my friends told me it took her 7 attempts to stop smoking. Today, there are more stop smoking products available to a smoker.

Your husband is not the only MMer to smoke or attempt to stop smoking. Perhaps others will share their stories with you.

Most importantly, your husband has to want to stop smoking and he will be more successful in stopping if he gets help from his doctor and joins a stop smoking support group.

Very few smokers who stop go it alone. Statistics  show a smoker is more likely to stop with a medication like Chantix.  I don't know if your husband can take such a drug but his doctor can advise him on his options.

There is a reason your husband is smoking whether it be because he simply enjoys it or he is having difficulty stopping due to all the stress and the addiction and the length of time he has been a smoker. I think it is important to understand why he is now smoking again.

Let your husband know you are there for him and will support him through the difficult times.

Hope this helps,

Lore

Please be cautious when considering chantix.  Chantix is a medication that turns off the nicotine receptors in the brain.  However these receptors have other "uses" too, and contribute to a persons feelings of happiness, etc.  Using chantix has been linked to suicide and other mental conditions.  If your husband is already depressed from unemployment or other factors, I would NOT recommend it.  It is true the primary side effect from using chantix is very vivid nightmares, however a good friend of mine reported "strange" dreams, such as spending the night dancing with her favorite blues singer, etc.  She reported all her dreams were pleasant.  She also always returned to smoking as soon as she went off chantix.  The positive side is I believe most states now have quit lines and your doctor can fax then a prescription for chantix and they will send it out to a person for free as long as you participate in their telephone "support."  This is common among states and is what many states did with their tobacco settlement money.  I have many friends who are smokers and I know of NO ONE who smokes purely because they enjoy it.  Everyone I know who smokes knows that it is a filthy habit, causes major health problems, makes people smell foul, yellows your teeth, causes bad breath, etc.  Yet they continue to smoke because the addiction to nicotine is the worst thing you can imagine.  There are nicotine replacement therapies available that he might try if he determines that chantix is not for him, however only your husband and his Dr. can determine what stop smoking aid would be best for him.  There are gums, patches, lozenges, etc. available.  Additionally, Wellbutrin is an antidepressant that is basically the same chemical as chantix and he may have some luck with that if he is prone to depression.  Please know that getting upset, yelling, or otherwise giving him ultimatums will only ensure that he continues to hide the behavior from you and will help no one.  (Not to mention getting your own blood pressure up!)  Please know that most smokers do not quit cold turkey, they set a quit date down the road and work towards it (even chantix users do this).  If you can begin an honest dialogue with your husband about his smoking, this will help you to be supportive of his efforts.  For 20 years my step dad smoked "behind my mothers back" and would adamantly deny he smoked.  The rest of us knew because we were out in the garage watching him smoke.  She always knew the truth, just like you, from the smoke smell on his clothes.  She also would occasionally find his cigarettes, lighters, etc.  He has passed away now, and we joke about it, but how sad that he hid something like that from her like a teenage boy not wanting to be in trouble.  She never smoked and could not understand why he couldn't quit "because she told him to."
I do agree that your husband needs to decide that he wants to quit again.  No words you can say will take away his habit or addiction.  He needs to make up his own mind and then get the support he needs to set a quit date, and hopefully quit. 
I have also known people who quit for 1, 2 and 3 years and ended up going back to smoking.  Obviously it is something a person has to be vigilant about for the rest of their lives.  It seems like all they have to do is smoke one cigarette and they are hooked again. 
I have also seen these new "electronic" cigarettes.  I believe these are more for the habit smoker.  Some people smoke because it is a habit and some smoke because it is an addiction.  For the habit smoker, the electronic cigarette seems to be the ticket.  They hold it like a cigarette, it makes a "smoke" which I think is like a  vapor mist (???) and it has a bright red end just like a real cigarette.  I do not think this would work for the addiction smoker because it does nothing to replace nicotine or turn off the nicotine receptors in the brain.  Some people also smoke for both habit and addiction, and a combination of the replacement electronic cigarette with a nicotine replacement might be the best route.  Once your husband decides to quit, he can talk to his Dr. about what method is best for him after determining what "kind" of smoker he is.  I hope this helps you both to understand better.
Been there, done that! 
God Bless You!
Michele

My daughter is 15 but all of her doctors have told her to NEVER EVER smoke with her Moyamoya,  she has also been cautioned against taking certain medications.

I used to smoke for the pure enjoyment of it. I stopped a couple of years ago, and do miss it occasionally, but it's best I stopped.

Michele wrote on Nov 21^st, 2009 at 9:03pm:

No one is disagreeing with anything other than people DO smoke because they enjoy it--simple as that, and any counselor/doctor will agree to that. Why you’re going on, I have no idea. Our goal is to help support Shari and hopefully help her understand the many different reasons why people have difficulties quitting.

It is no secret that smoking doubles a persons chances for a stroke and strokes are the third leading cause of death in the US.

Smoking is very addictive and extremely difficult to stop. My friends who are former smokers said it took them 3 or more attempts before they completely stopped smoking. One of my friends told me it took her 7 attempts to stop smoking. Today, there are more stop smoking products available to a smoker.